Here we have listed some of the best funny valentine messages, wishes and texts for him and her. You can choose any of them and send it to your desired person!
Funny Valentine Day Messages
The best way to spend this valentine’s day for me is to spend it with the love of my life – food. Wishing happy valentines day to you!
Celebrating Valentine’s Day looks great in movies. But in real life, it’s just horrible and costly. Try buying a bouquet of flowers and you’ll know!
May God fills your heart with love and your wallet with money so you can buy some chocolates for your honey! Happy valentine’s day!
Whoever said Valentine’s day is only for lovers? I love you my best friend! Happy Valentine’s day.
You don’t need flowers to smell sweet and don’t need ornaments to look beautiful. And then I thought you don’t need a valentine’s day either to be loved!
Today, let us celebrate the early demise of all men in promoting love just like Saint Valentine did before his own sad demise!
I have found my way back to your heart like a stray dog finds his way back home. Thank you for letting me in every time. Happy valentine’s day!
You don’t always have to arrange candlelight dinners for me on valentine’s day; it’s absolutely ok to buy me some jewelry sometimes!
I don’t always celebrate valentine’s day, but I make sure I have a fake smile on my face when I do.
I hate valentine’s day because it makes me feel lonely and disconnected from the world. But I do like the memes. So yeah, keep sending me those!
Brace yourself for the valentine meme’s on Facebook. They don’t seem funny at all when you’re single.
I love the way people ask me about my plans on valentine’s as if they don’t know I’m single.
Loving you is my job and every job holder needs the motivation to work. Can I have some motivation tonight? Happy valentine’s day!
I like the way you chew my mind like a bar of chocolate. It’s just a matter of days before I become brain dead because of your love!
You cannot define love in one word and you cannot celebrate love in one day. That’s why I don’t have any plans with you on this Valentine’s Day!
Funny Valentines Day Texts
I wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day with all my heart, and lungs, and liver, and spleen…!
Love doesn’t grow on trees like apples in Eden – it’s something you have to make. And it would be best if you used your imagination too.
Here’s Valentine’s Day filled with good wine, good food and especially good friends like you.
Every man would agree that 14th of February should be celebrated in a fiscally but not sexually conservative way.
Today is February 14th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.
Valentine’s day is the perfect day to tell you those 3 special words… Let’s get naked!
My friends are the weirdest, craziest people I know but I love them. Happy Valentines’ Day everyone!
Roses are red, fitness is great, I would’ve gotten you chocolate, but you need to lose some weight.
Funny Valentine Wishes for Singles
Every Valentine’s Day creates a hole in my pocket that I need the whole year to repair. I’m glad that you’re still single!
Even God couldn’t find someone for you in all these years. Maybe she is not born yet, or maybe she is from mars! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Having a great time with my GF so far, just wanted to know how you’ve been doing today? How it feels like dating yourself? I’m dying to know!
If you remain single for the next 2 years, you should really consider dating yourself. Because you are one of a kind and there’s no one like you!
I have never seen anyone more romantic and caring as a person than you are. Maybe this is the reason why you are still single!
I get it, you are not single; you’re just waiting for something real, which unfortunately will never happen. Happy valentine’s day!
The power of human brain is unlimited. Even a loser can create an imaginary valentine for himself anytime. Then my friend, why you’re so sad?
Funny Valentine’s Day Messages for Friends
Girlfriends are temporary, friends are permanent. Accept this truth, my friend. Let’s spend this Valentine’s Day high on drugs and drunk as a lord!
Do you know the very famous quote saint valentines said before his death? – he said, “don’t buy a cow when you can have milk for free’’!
If you feel lonely today, just remind yourself that yesterday you felt the same as today, and tomorrow will not be different either. Happy valentine’s day!
Love is like a blanket. It will keep you warm and safe for some times but very soon you’ll realize that it was an electric blanket and someone else is in control of the switch!
It’s always a wonder how the least intelligent guy in the friend circle gets the most beautiful girl in the class. Happy Valentine’s Day!
I don’t mind being a security guard while you’re dating as long as you’re paying for me being drunk & grabbing some hookers from the club.
Whatever you do, don’t commit yourself. You’ll be dead long before your death. Happy valentine’s day!
Love is just like a fart. If you push it, it will be crap. Happy valentine’s day, my friend!
If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.
Funny Valentine Messages For Her
I just found out that I have fallen in love more deeply than I had originally planned. You can take this as a valentine’s day confession from me!
What if I told you that you cleaning up all the dishes seduces me more than you whining about a candlelight dinner on valentine’s day?
If my wealth grew as much as my love for you, today, I’d be on the Forbes list of richest men in the world. Happy valentine’s day!
I was single and sad. And then I met you and realized being single was not so bad. Just kidding! Happy valentine’s day, my love!
I wish I could strip your clothes off tonight like the way you strip a bar of wrapped chocolate. I really wish I was with you tonight. Happy valentine’s day sweetheart!
My healthcare plan does not cover the broken heart. So please don’t leave me ever. Happy valentine’s day!
I don’t usually hang out on valentine’s day, but when I do, I make sure It’s with someone so gorgeous as you!
Before our relation, you told me you ain’t got time for valentine’s day. Well, I’ve just realized that you lied about that. Happy valentine’s day anyway!
Funny Valentine Messages For Him
A date with you? No thanks, I would rather have an apple by myself alone. Happy valentine’s day!
The world is filled with so many people with so little love. Tonight, let’s make some love together. Happy valentine’s day!
Want to know my plan for today? Getting you arrested for stealing my heart. Happy valentine’s day, my love!
If you can’t buy happiness with money, try buying a valentine’s gift for me. It will work like magic. I can guaranty you that!
I love you like a lazy guy loves his bed in the morning. I want you like a monkey wants a banana and I crave for you as a fat boy craves for chocolates.
When people ask me what the best thing about you is, I say nothing. I don’t want them to fall in love with you. Happy valentine’s Day!
